


More Than Anything

by the_usual_suspects



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A little but of smut, AU: Not Hunters/Living in Lawrence, F/M, M/M, mainly fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-02-20 23:17:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2446727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_usual_suspects/pseuds/the_usual_suspects
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas moves to Lawrence, Kansas, and after crashing his car, meets an intruiging mechanic, who he can't help but fall for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Cas sat in the front seat of the tow truck, avoiding the woman in the driver's seat. She had been talking for the past hour about something to do with her daughter and the bar they ran together. If only he had totaled his car a little closer to town. His first day of work in a new place, and he was gonna miss it, all because of the stupid squirrel that had dashed across the street. As they drove, more and more buildings appeared, until he saw a sign that said "WELCOME TO LAWRENCE KANSAS" in huge, bolded letters. Cas sighed, already missing Pontiac, Illinois, but all the same, he lifted his head and scanned the street of his new home. Big, white-picket-fenced houses filled nearly every block. Any area not consumed by the residents, was rolling plains, or little shops, or water towers.  
"When do we get into the big part of the city?" He asked his driver, hesitantly, not sure he wanted the answer.  
"That's the court house right there, the center of downtown" she said, pointing out the window, to a small, slightly managed, white, marble building. Cas nearly choked. The court house in Pontiac was easily five times larger. It was going to be a difficult assimilation.  
But he couldn't exactly go back, even if he wanted to. His brothers had told him to get out, and even if he could have found his father, he undoubtedly would have been unwanted there. The whole Novak family hated the middle brother's guts at the moment, and wanted nothing, as Michael had put it, "to do with a disgusting, disgracing, abomination." But still, Cas had lived with his brothers all his life, from laughing and playing with them as young children, to having his first beer with the third oldest, Gabe.  
A large pothole in the road shook Cas back to reality.  
"Sorry, honey. We're almost there" the driver said, hastily rounding a corner.  
Cas shook off the apology and went back to his sightseeing. Down the stret he could see what appeared to be some sort of auto-shop. Cas turned to look through the back window of the truck and make sure that his beaten-down old car was still tied to the back. As they pulled into the driveway of the mechanics, Cas read the sign over the garage. "Singer Auto." The truck came to an abrupt stop, and Cas lurched forward in his seat. He waited in the truck as the driver clambered out and headed into the office. He looked down at his watch and saw the time. 9:30 am. And he was officially late for his first day of work. Determined not to miss the day entirely, Cas finally got down from the truck. He quickly marched into the office and asked if they had any rental cars he could take for the day. The man behind the desk, with the beard and the baseball cap, who's name seemed to be Bobby, checked his books.  
"Doesn't seem like we have any of our usual rentals here, but you can go ask the guy in the back if you can borrow his ride for today"  
"Thank you" Cas said, curtly turning towards the garage.  
"Wait up!" Bobby yelled, after him. "Let Dean know that it was me who put ya up to asking him for the car, otherwise, he won't let ya near it"  
Cas chuckled, assuming that the strange man had to be joking. It was just a car, after all. He pushed open the door to the garage and was immediately bombarded with an intense level of noise. Tools were clanking against each other, but the majority of the noise seemed to come from the extensive stereo system that seemed to be installed in every wall. Cas quickly recognized the song that was playing and began humming along, while looking for the man that Bobby said would be in the back. He peered around the maze of cars and tool boxes and workbenches and finally saw some movement, behind an old Volkswagen bus. He came around the corner, still humming and saw the most gorgeous man he had ever seen. As was taken aback as he looked over to the tall, sturdy man, leaning against the side of the bus. He had hand resting above his head and the other below him, holding a beer. His brown hair was damp with sweat, making the light shine off of it. He wore a tight black t-shirt, with a plaid flannel tied around his waist, and a pair of washed out jeans. And Cas had never seen some look so incredible in such modest clothing. Suddenly, the man spoke.  
"Can I help you?" He asked, with a strange irritation in his voice.  
"Um, yes" said Cas, struggling to get his words out in the right order. "Are you Dean?"  
"Ya, that's me" said Dean, standing up straight.  
"Bobby, from the office, sent me back here to ask you if I could borrow--"  
"Damn it, Bobby!" Dean yelled, suddenly turning off the music. Cas abruptly realized that he had still been humming throughout their entire conversation. He must have looked taken aback, because Dean turned and explain himself.  
"The old man keeps tellin' all the customers that they can use my baby if we run out of rentals"  
Cas nodded his head, not knowing how else to respond. Dean shook his head, and picked up a pair keys from the workbench behind him.  
"Here" he said, handing them to Cas. "You can take her, but only for a little while. And she better come back in one piece. And no changing my music."  
"Thank you" Cas stammered, reaching for the keys.  
As Cas' hand grazed Dean's, Dean looked up at him for the first time. Cas saw Dean's green eyes scanning his face, and watched a slight grin grow on the man's face, as his thick lips pulled tightly to the side.  
"Before I let you take my car, I'm gonna need to know your name" Dean said, holding out his hand for Cas to shake it. Cas awkwardly shifted the keys into his left hand, so he could shake and said "Castiel Novak" without thinking.  
"Castiel, huh?" Dean said, obviously trying not to burst out laughing.  
"Yes, sorry. I don't know why I introduced myself like that. I go by 'Cas'".  
"Alrighty then Cas, I'm Dean Winchester, and my car's the '67 Chevy Impala, that's sitting out front."  
Cas nodded his head, and tucked down his shoulders, to quickly get back to the office, trying to escape the gorgeous man. As he reached the door, he realized that he had no idea what a "'67 Chevy Impala" looked like. He shuffled back towards Dean and fiddled with the keys for a moment before talking.  
"What exactly does a '67 Chevy Impala look like?" he asked, embarrassed by his lack of knowledge in the world of cars.  
Dean laughed shortly and then put his hand onto the shoulder of Cas' trench coat.  
"Let me show you" he said, hitting the remote to open the garage. The sun flooded in, blinding Cas, but he quickly refocused his eyes. The first car he saw was the most beautiful one he had ever seen. Sleek and black, a two-door with a tan, leather interior and a beautiful dash.  
"Here she is" Dean exclaimed, laying his hand on the roof, just above the driver's side door.  
"She's yours?" Cas asked, astounded. But then, it made sense that such a beautiful car would belong to such a beautiful man.  
"She sure is, but for a while, she's yours. It will probably take a while to fix up your piece of junk, so you have her til then" Dean said, much less reserved than he had been before. He opened the door and motioned for Cas to climb in. Cas did as he was instructed and took a seat behind the wheel. He ran his hands over the seat and sighed deeply. This was a car. He wrapped his fingers around the steering wheel and smiled out the window, up at Dean. Dean motioned for him to crank the window down, and he did.  
"Wait until you hear my sound system" he said, grinning hugely.  
Cas scanned the dash for a CD player, but instead found a slot for a cassette tape.  
"Tapes? Really?" He said, looking out at Dean.  
"Shut up, my brother already gives me enough trouble for them. Just press play."  
Cas' fingers found the play button and the car erupted with music, just as the garage had.  
"Led Zeppelin's 'Ramble On'- one of the best songs ever created"  
Cas nodded and turned up the volume even more. He had grown up, secretly listening to Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Metallica, and all the other bands that his brothers hated. These were the songs of his childhood.  
"Thank god," Dean said happily. "Finally someone with good taste."  
Cas laughed and transitioned from admiring the car and the music to admiring Dean's face again. He had wide green eyes and a curved nose, which fit perfectly with his only-slightly-lopsided lips. Dean stared back at Cas for a moment, then shifted uncomfortably. Cas knew that he had again fallen victim to the terrible habit he had of starring up at people through squinted eyes.  
"I'd love to stay all day and talk about music and cars, but I've got work to do, and you look like you have somewhere to be, so have fun with Baby, but be careful, or you're dead" Dean said, peering through the window, as he backed away from the car.  
Cas waved and turned the key in the ignition. As the engine roared to life, Dean turned his back on the car, and headed back into the garage. As Cas pulled away, he heard the sounds of rock echoing out from the shop. 

"You actually let that skinny little twig drive off in your baby?" asked Sammy, hours later, from the other end of the bar. It was just past closing and the usual suspects were lined up along the bench. Dean and Sam sat at either end. Jo took the middle seat, with Bobby and Ellen to each side of her.  
"Believe it or not, ya, I did" said Dean, feeling a little apprehensive.  
"The poor guy crashed his car into a tree to avoid hitting one of those squirrels that are always on the highway right outside of town" said Ellen, causing everyone to laugh.  
"Well y'all didn't have to sit in the truck with him awkwardly for an hour" she continued. "And I wouldn't have had to either if this one hadn't blown out his knee" she said, reaching around Jo to slap Bobby's arm.  
"Not my fault this idjits had me carry Ruby's stuff into Sam's apartment" Bobby retorted. "You boys should know better than to have an old man lift heavy boxes filled with who-knows-what"  
Jo laughed. "It's just another sign that this girl's bad for you, Sam" she said, jokingly referencing the group's disdain for the newest of Sam's girlfriends.  
Everyone laughed at her remark, except for Sam, of course. Wanting to change the subject, Sam asked again about the man that his brother had lent his car out to.  
"Who was this guy who rode off in the impala?" He asked, desperately.  
"Was he cute?" Jo asked, leaning to grin at Dean.  
"Shut up, J--" Dean started, but Ellen answered for him.  
"Very" she said, matter-of-factly. "This boy was gorgeous" she told her daughter.  
"Oh Dean, no wonder you let him take your car" Jo teased.  
"I should've never told you guys" Dean said, shaking his head with regret.  
"Actually, you should've never told Sam, he's the one who told the rest of us" Bobby added.  
"Wow, Bobby, thanks for throwing me under the bus" Sam answered from the end of the bar.  
"It's true though, honey," Ellen said to Dean. "That man really was good looking."  
"What was his name?" Sam asked.  
"Casti--- Cas" Dean said, catching himself before he could tell the whole group Cas' utterly embarrassing name.  
"Aww" said Jo, "Dean and Cas. It's official, that's just adorable."  
Dean was burning up, having to listen to them poke fun at him. He knew they meant well, but the constant nagging about "which guys in town were the hottest" and "would you date him" was starting to get on his nerves. Like he had said earlier, he regretted ever telling Sam that between girlfriends, he had dated a few guys during his one year as a college student at the small, community college. Of course, Sam immediately told Jo, who in turn told her mother, who told Bobby. News spread quickly across their small group. Dean headed to the restroom as the others wrapped up the conversation, and wiped down the bar. He pushed open the door and leaned over the sink. They had been right, he thought, as he turned on the faucet. Cas was gorgeous, truly. His dark brown hair, that perfectly framed his face. And those eyes. The bluest blue around. Dean splashed the cool water over his face, and did his best to shake Cas out of his thoughts. He looked into the mirror and thought, this guy could make me happy, before drying his face and heading back into the bar.  
Ellen and Bobby were behind the bar, counting up the cash in the register while Jo and Sam swept up the floors. They were his family. Sammy was the only one he was actually related to, but with a dead mom and a not-too-pleasant father, Ellen, Bobby and Jo, were more than he could have ever dreamed up. John Winchester hasn't been a part of Dean and Sam's life since Dean was ten years old. Those first ten years of his life were the years that Dean hated looking back on. Sammy had been only six, so he didn't remember all of the nights the two had spent, making themselves dinner and taking care of their drunken father, when- well more like if- he did come home. He had never been incredibly abusive, he had only ever hit the boys in his drunkest and saddest state, and the next morning, he would hold them in his arms and apologize, crying into the backs of their shirts. But his apologies didn't fix anything. Watching your old man crumble before your eyes for years wasn't exactly the best way to be brought up. When John had finally disappeared for good, Bobby had rounded up the boys and their things and made them move in with him. Ellen and Bobby were married the next year, and the family grew larger. Dean walked Ellen down the aisle. He and Sam had been the "best men" as Bobby had deemed them, and Jo was the maid of honor. Their family was a jigsaw puzzle of tattered pieces, but they fit together well.  
Dean smiled at Jo, who was starting to lock up the door, and quickly ran out, after his brother. He and Sam climbed into the back of Bobby's beat up truck, while Bobby and the two girls hopped into the cab. 

Cas woke up, absolutely drained from the previous day. Hitting a tree, meeting Dean Winchester and staring a new job, all in twenty four hours. His shabby motel bed creaked as he rolled across it, towards the bathroom door. He shuffled in, barely able to keep his eyelids open. Cas pulled off his pants and peed into the grossly stained toilet, trying to ignore the smell. Once he was finished, he moved to the sink and washed his face, getting the salt out of the corners of his eyes. Combing his hair back, his mind drifted, again, to Dean. This was exactly what his brothers had scolded him for. He had told Michael about his mistake that involved another man, which was a bad idea. Cas, wanting to avoid drifting back to thinking about his brothers, splashed his face again with the water and walked back into the main part of the room to get dressed. He pulled his suit from the closet and wished for his own apartment and some clean clothes. He had left all of his luggage in the back of his car, which was still parked at Singer Auto. As he tied his tie, Cas decided to go back to the shop and see if Dean had finished his car yet. But the car wasn't that important. He wanted to see Dean. He opened the door of his motel room and hustled out to the Impala. Cas jumped into the front seat, turning the key and the volume knob at the same time. Music blaring, Cas drove down the streets of Lawrence, towards Dean's shop.  
As Cas pulled up in front of the garage, Dean recognized the sound of the Impala's engine. He quickly opened the doors and rushed out to see his baby. Not a scratch on her and she seemed to be in better shape than when Cas had taken her out, the morning before.  
"Did you finish the repairs on my car?" Cas asked.  
"Not yet, should be just a few more hours. I've got my little brother in there with me today, so we should be pretty quick. You can just hang around here if you want."  
"Can't," Cas said, disappointedly, "I've got work"  
"On a Saturday?"  
"It's Saturday?"  
"Ya, Cas, it is."  
"Oh, then I guess I can stick around. I keep forgetting the court house here isn't open on weekends."  
"You're a lawyer?"  
"Yes, it's my first year out of law school"  
"Hey Sammy!" Dean yelled, motioning for his brother to come outside.  
"What do you want Dean?" Sam said angrily, obviously not happy with the fact that his work had been interrupted. Sam was at least two inches taller than Dean and he towered over Cas. He had long brown hair, which was tied back into a short ponytail to keep it out his way, while he worked. The two hardly looked like brothers, but then again, neither did Cas and his siblings.  
"This is my little brother, Sammy. He's here for the summer, and then he goes back to Stanford to finish his last year of law school" said Dean, with pride in his voice. "And Sam, this is Cas, he just got out of law school."  
"Hi, Cas. Nice to meet you. It's nice to know that if Dean ever needs a lawyer, he'll have two ready to help" Sam said, sticking out his hand.  
"Nice to meet you too, Sam" Cas said, noticing the Sam's strong grip, which was just like his brother's. "Hopefully, we can keep your brother out of trouble, so he won't need either if us" he joked.  
"That'll be harder than it sounds" Sam said quickly, before adding: "I need to get some work done, so I'll leave you to it" and rushing off.  
"He's a giant and a nerd, but I'm stuck with him" Dean said, turning to Cas. "How did baby treat you?"  
"It was wonderful. The whole machine is amazing."  
"Couldn't agree more" said Dean, placing his hand in Cas' shoulder. "Climb in, there's something I want to show you. I think you'll really enjoy this.  
Dean opened up the drivers door and sat down, so Cas walked around to the passenger's side and got in. Dean leaned towards the glove box, reaching over Cas' lap and pulled out a shoe box filled with cassette tapes. He fumbled through them all, until he found the one that he wanted and pushed it into the player. He leaned towards Cas, and for a moment, Cas thought that Dean was going to kiss him but instead, he whispered: "You ready to rock?" and he gently pressed play. A song that Cas had heard thousands of times before filled the car. In the seat next to him, Dean was drumming on the steering wheel and humming along.  
"Rising up, back on the street, did my time, took my chances" Dean belted. Cas watched in awe as Dean completely let go of every reservation to enjoy the music. "Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet, just a man an his will to survive." Dean cranked the volume knob and clambered out of the car and climbed up onto the roof. Cas opened his door and stared up at Dean, mouth gaping. He couldn't believe that Dean would climb onto the roof of his baby. "So many times, it happens to fast," he sang, pointing at Cas, "you trade your passion for glory. Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past, you must fight just to keep them alive." Cas watched as Dean danced on the roof, belting the chorus, at the top of his lungs, not caring that people on the street outside of the shop had stopped to stare. This is how you live, Cas thought to himself, Dean Winchester knows how to live. Cas watched the gorgeous man complete the perfect air guitar solo and sang along, dancing next to the car. As the song hit the final chorus, Dean pulled Cas onto the roof with him. Cas felt the thin metal bowing beneath his feet, but whatever damage there was, Dean could fix it. He looked into Dean's deep green eyes and grabbed his hands. Cas smiled and sang with him: "It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight, rising up to the challenge of our rival. And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night, and he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger."  
When the song ended, Dean and Cas jumped off the roof of the car, laughing uncontrollably. Dean reached in and pulled out the keys and led Cas into the garage.  
"That was pretty fun, huh?" Dean asked over his shoulder.  
"That was very fun"  
They got to Cas' car and Sam called out from behind it. Evidently, He didn't know that Cas was with Dean, so he said "This car kinda looks like it should belong to a pimp"  
Dean chuckled again.  
"The pimp's right here Sammy."  
Sammy stood up, looking over the roof of the car, "Sorry Cas."  
"No need to apologize. I just like this car for some reason."  
"Well your pimp car is almost done" Dean said teasingly.  
"Ya" continued Sam, "you guys can go hangout in the office or back outside til I'm done. I can finish this up myself."  
"Thank you, Sam" Cas replied and walked off towards the office. He heard the scuffle of Dean's boots behind him and grinned. Thanks to Sam, he was getting to spend even more time with the older Winchester. Cas pushed open the office door, and to his disappointment, saw the tow truck driver from the day before and a young, blonde woman about Sam's age, leaning on the edge of Bobby's desk. Cas and Dean weren't going to get to alone time that Cas had been hoping for.  
"Hey guys" said Dean, walking past Cas to greet the two girls. He kissed the older woman's cheek and threw an arm over the younger one's shoulder. Cas felt like he had been hit by a train. The skinny blonde had to be Dean's girlfriend, and Cas had stupidly assumed that Dean was interested in him, at least a little. He stood there, awkwardly staring at the trio, but luckily, the driver spoke up.  
"Dean, aren't you gonna introduce your friend to Jo?"  
"Oh ya," Dean said, moving to stand next to Cas. "Jo," he said, speaking to the girl, "this is Cas."  
"Nice meeting you" Jo replied flashing a smile quickly at Cas before giving Dean a strange look.  
Turning to Cas, Dean introduce the women.  
"This is my adoptive family. My mom, Ellen-you met her yesterday- and my little sis, Jo."  
As Cas said his hellos, he felt the weight of the world come of his shoulders. Little sister. She was just his little sister. There was still a chance.  
"Nice to meet you, officially" said Ellen, "Jo and I have to hustle back to the roadhouse and get opened up. See you boys later."  
She pushed her daughter out the office door, and left Dean and Cas standing alone.  
"Want to open up some beers and watch the game?" Dean asked, already moving towards the fridge.  
Cas nodded and made his way to the couch, that took up the back half of the office. It was old and worn down, covered with unrecognizable stains, but it did its job. A shabby flat screen was mounted on the wall across from them, and a small table filled up the rest of the space. Cas watched as Dean pulled out two beers and opened then against the edge of Bobby's desk.  
"He always yells at me for doin' that, so I do it as much as I can" he said, smirking.  
Cas handed him the remote, and Dean clicked on the tv, surfing the channels until he found the baseball game.  
"Who are we rooting for?" Cas asked quietly, because he had no clue about baseball.  
"Well," Dean said, throwing his arm along the back of the couch, "I generally cheer for the ones from Kansas, so let's go for the Royals."  
Cas nodded, unsure how to respond to Dean's comment. The game was utter nonsense to Cas, so after five minutes, he resorted to fiddling with the beer bottle in his hands and watching Dean watch the game. Dean was cheering and cussing at the screen. Every so often, he would say "Son of a bitch" under his breath, when the other team scored. Finally, at one of the commercial breaks, Dean turned down the volume and looked over to the man sitting at the other end of his couch.  
"Cas, why are you always staring like that?"  
Cas shook himself out of his daze to reply.  
"It's just how I look at people"  
"Why do you look at people like this?" Dean asked, mocking Cas' squint.  
Cas laughed at the incredibly accurate imitation of himself.  
"I probably need to get my eyes checked"  
"That would probably be a good idea. Sam knows a guy who has an office set up down by the court house for that kinda stuff"  
"I'll have to check it out"  
Dean nodded, and the two sat awkwardly for a while, staring down at their hands, listening to the tv, still playing quietly in the background.  
"Why did you come here, Cas?" Dean said, suddenly.  
"I needed to get away from home and wanted a different start"  
"Did you leave your family behind?"  
"In a way. My brothers, they didn't like my actions, and they told me they never wanted to see me again, so I left."  
"What the hell did you do to piss them off that much?"  
"I had an affair, outside of my marriage. And it disgusted them"  
"Son of a bitch"  
"It was my fault, and things just got worse from there"  
Dean had a strained look on his face, almost a disappointed look. Cas, feeling that he had shared too much too quickly, tried to change to subject.  
"Why did you call Ellen and Jo your adoptive family?"  
Dean looked taken aback by the question, but still answered.  
"When I was ten, both my parents were gone, so Bobby adopted me and Sam. A year later, he married Ellen, and brought her and her daughter Jo into the family."  
"Gone?"  
"Ya, my mom and dad. My mom died when I was four, and my dad decided he didn't want anything to do with me and Sammy, six years later."  
"I guess we've both had our troubles with family"  
"'Troubles' is putting it lightly"  
Cas smiled at Dean and leaned back, into the couch. He drank the rest of his beer and kicked his feet up onto the table.  
"What happened with your wife?" Dean asked, continuing the incredibly personal conversation between the two men who had known each other for less than twenty-four hours.  
"I was tired of our marriage. Sex sucked and I just didn't care for her anymore. I don't really think I loved her, aside from just caring about her a lot."  
"Wow, heavy load"  
"I went out to a bar and met someone and fucked him for three months before anyone ever knew it was happening."  
Cas had gone too far. Dean didn't need to know everything about him, but Cas had gone on a rant, and had gave away everything. Dean was speechless next to him. He stared at Cas, seemingly surprised that anyone who seemed so normal could have that much crap stored up inside of them. Cas thought that Dean would never talk to him again, but the next thing he said surprised Cas.  
"Was it worth it?"  
No one had ever asked him that before, and he didn't know how to respond. But then, he really did.  
"Yes, yes it was" he said quickly, not able to catch the words before they poured out of his mouth. Dean beamed at him.  
"Ok then," he said, staring at Cas, "as long as that's true, then put it behind you. Want another beer?"  
"More than anything."


	2. Chapter 2

As soon as Dean walked in the bar, Jo ambushed him.  
"How'd it go, big bro? Are you and the incredibly attractive man with the dark hair and blue eyes, endlessly and hopelessly in love?"  
Dean threw his hand over her mouth and tilted his head towards the entrance. Almost hitting Jo with the door, Cas stepped into the bar.   
"Oh sorry, Jo" he said quietly to her feet.  
"No problem Cas" she replied, patting his shoulder. "You guys want some beers?" she asked.  
"More than anything" Dean said, grinning at Cas.   
Jo walked behind the bar and pulled two glasses from the pile of clean dishes. She poured beer into each. Dean grabbed Cas' beer for him, and led him to one of the small tables in the back. And Cas sank into his chair, Dean couldn't help but notice how his brow wrinkled when he looked up. He handed Cas his glass and sat down. The condensation was already starting to roll down Dean's glass, and dripping onto his hand. He focused on his beer, but he could feel Cas' eyes resting on him.  
"Sorry I told you my entire life story earlier" Cas said, and Dean chuckled. He had loved hearing the story and had especially enjoyed the part where Cas had confessed to having an affair with a man.  
"It's fine, Cas" he said, finally looking up.   
"I never tell anyone that story, much less someone I just met"   
"Do you think I usually go around tellin' people about my crappy life?" Dean asked, sarcastically.  
Cas looked at him, and Dean watched the corners of his mouth turn up slowly, eventually turning into a smile. Cas' eyes lit up and Dean felt his stomach knot up with nervousness. No one person should be allowed to be so amazing. He smiled back at Cas and thought, fuck it. He stood up suddenly, causing Cas to jump and said "Follow me."  
Without waiting to see if Cas would actually follow, Dean walked towards the bathroom door. He silently prayed that Cas was indeed following him as he pushed the door open and checked very stall to make sure that no one was inside. While he was checking the last stall, Cas came into the bathroom, forehead crinkled in confusion.   
"What are we doing, Dean?"  
Dean ignored his question and walked over to the door. Clicking the lock, he turned to face Cas.   
"I don't know how you're gonna respond to this," he said, and then, proceeded to grab Cas around the waist and pull him in. Dean stopped pulling when Cas' forehead rested against his.  
"Dean..." Cas started, but Dean didn't let him finish. He pushed his lips against Cas' and felt a surge of heat rush through his body. Almost instantly, Cas started kissing back. Dean felt Cas gently working his fingers over Dean's ears and through his hair. Dean wrapped one of his hands onto the back of Cas' neck, and placed the other on his waist. Dean had never felt more alive. He pushed Cas against the wall of the bathroom, and worked his tongue into the other man's mouth. Cas' teeth were smooth and his mouth tasted like mint. Dean felt Cas' hand pulling the neck of his shirt, and the two kissed even more passionately. Cas partially wrapped his leg around Dean's, pressing their crotches against each other. Dean could feel that Cas was hard through the layers of fabric between them, and he was just as hard. He found himself wishing that it was only him and Cas, not separated by the cloth. Without their lips separating, Dean started undoing the buttons down the front of Cas' shirt, his hand fumbling across Cas' chest. Cas' skin was warm beneath Dean's hands, and Dean could feel his heart beating, fast. He felt Cas' hands sliding over his ass, squeezing it playfully. Dean finished unbuttoning Cas' shirt, and slid his hand lower, brushing Cas' dick, through his pants. He felt Cas smile against his lips, moaning ever so slightly. Dean ground his hips against Cas', and again got a moan out of him. Dean smiled this time. He was finally getting to kiss Cas, just as he had started fantasizing about doing, ever since he had laid his eyes on him. Cas was getting harder every second, and Dean could tell he was enjoying himself. Dean pushed Cas harder against the door, lifting him off the ground. Both of Cas' legs wrapped around Dean's, and Dean readjusted his footing so that he could keep Cas up. Cas moaned Dean's name quietly, as he finally broke their kiss and instead, laid kisses down the side of Dean's neck. Dean sighed into Cas' chest, ready for more. Cas pulled back, grinning down at Dean, "Lets---" he started, but he was interrupted.  
"Dean!" called Sam's voice from the opposite side of the door.  
"Son of a bitch" Dean said, lowering Cas' feet back to the ground. "What do you want, Sammy?"  
"Dude, the door's locked. I need to get in there" Sam replied, obnoxiously tapping on the door.  
"Alright, alright. Gimme a sec"   
Dean turned to Cas, who was buttoning up his shirt hurriedly. Dean shook out his hair, and checked himself in the crappy bathroom mirror. He grabbed Cas' face and planted one last kiss on his lips.  
"We'll pick this up later," he said, pressing their foreheads together, before turning and unlocking the door.  
"Jesus, Dean. Why the hell did you have to lock the door? There are two frickin' stalls and three urinals"   
"Try not to piss yourself, you fugly giant" Dean said bumping his brother's shoulder and leading Cas back into the bar.  
Dean turned around once he reached the table he and Cas had been sitting at earlier. Cas was shuffling into his chair awkwardly, trying to hide his boner. Luckily for Dean, his had gone away when he had heard Sam's voice through the door. Cas' sat hunched over, looking down at his crotch nervously. Dean grinned at him, and when Cas smiled back, Dean could tell that his lips were red and swollen.   
"I need to take a cold shower" Cas said quietly, making sure no one but Dean could hear.   
"I'll give you a ride home, once you can stand up" he teased.  
Cas glared up at him.   
"Get me a beer" he said, coldly.  
Dean stood up and made his way to the bar. Ellen handed him a beer and a strange look to go with it.  
"What?" Dean asked, unable to stop himself from smiling.  
"Nothing, Dean. Just take Cas his beer"  
Dean shrugged and followed Ellen's orders, returning to Cas. Cas beamed up at him as he sat down. Dean couldn't wait to feel Cas' lips against his again. As he slid the beer across the table, he said, "Hurry up and drink it, so we can get going."  
Cas teased him at first, drinking as slowly as possible, but after Dean kicked him in the shin, under the table, he chugged the rest down. They stood up simultaneously and stared at each other for just a second before heading out the door as fast as possible.

Dean roared out of the parking lot, causing Cas to lurch in his seat.   
"Calm down, Dean" he warned, not wanting to suffer a second car crash in a week.   
"I wanna get to where ever it can be just me and you" Dean replied, without taking his eyes off the road.   
"Yes, of course, but let's take it slow, okay?"  
"Slow? Cas, we've known each other for not even two days, and we just made out in the bathroom of my step-mom's bar! That's the opposite of slow."  
"I know, Dean. I just want to make sure we do this right."  
"Dammit, Cas."  
"Dean..."  
"I know, I know. You're right, we'll take it slow."  
"Good."  
"Just not too slow, or I'm gonna go insane."  
Cas laughed and even though he didn't tell Dean, he felt the exact same way. It was like a roller coaster, building and building and he didn't know if the sky was going to be the limit, because he felt that he and Dean could reach the heavens.   
"Well, since we're taking it slow, I'll drop you off at your place" Dean said, breaking the silence.  
"I'm staying down at the El Conquistador on 5th."  
"That crappy motel? Come on, Cas."  
"I've only been here two days, I haven't exactly been able to find a place that I can call mine."  
"You didn't look before you moved out here?"  
"Remember the circumstances that caused me to have to move? I didn't get a planning period before my life got ripped apart."  
"True. Well, in that case, you can just come stay with me" Dean said quietly.  
Cas looked over at him, in disbelief. Dean was no longer watching the road, but had turned his head to look at Cas, thumping his fingers on the steering wheel. Cas had no response. It was so outlandish that Dean Winchester, who seemed to keep everything so close to his chest, would open his home to a man he just met.  
When Cas didn't respond, Dean continued, wearily.  
"I mean, it's just an offer. You don't have to take me up on it. But if this is a thing we're gonna do, then why the hell shouldn't you just come board at my house til you get your own place."  
Cas smiled, noticing Dean's hands trembling nervously.   
"Alright"  
"Alright? We'll do it then?"  
"Sure, let's just go by the motel and pick up my stuff."  
Dean set his eyes back onto the road, and even though he was trying to hide it, Cas could see a grin crawling across his face. As Dean drove, Cas found himself dreaming of what life would be like with Dean Winchester. Would he get out of bed in the morning with bed-head? And with the lines of the pillow creased into his face? Would he hum while he cooked? Would he sing in the shower? Cas had never been so curious to see someone in their normal routine. But then, he had never met someone who's every movement had fascinated him as much as Dean's did. He had never met someone who he had felt so irreversibly connected to. He had loved before, but this was something new. He truly had loved his wife, but it wasn't in the same way that he could tell he was starting to love Dean. He hadn't been obsessed with every line of her face, or with the way her chest moved when she breathed, or with the idea of always being able to kiss her and feel her warmth against him. But he wanted all of these things with Dean. He wanted them so badly that it felt as if his stomach was being twisted into knots within him. His heart beat quickly, as he dreamed of the future he could have with the gorgeous man in the driver's seat of the gorgeous car.  
"Here we are," Dean said finally, pulling into the parking lot of the El Conquistador.  
Dean had been right, Cas noticed, looking around at the place he had been living. It was a dump. First of all, it reeked. Secondly, trash was blowing across the sidewalks and the lot, drifting with the wind. Tiles were falling from the roof, broken in pieces on the walkways that led up to the doors. He looked over and Dean embarrassedly, expecting him to withdraw his offer after seeing that Cas could spend his time in a place like this. But instead, Dean told him to head inside and pack up his stuff. Dean turned of the engine of the Impala, while Cas walked towards his motel room. He would pack up his small amount of things and then join Dean back in the parking lot, from which they would head back to Dean's house. He smiled to himself as he fumbled with the keys. He finally pushed the door open and started packing frantically. He threw clothes and cosmetics into his suitcase without a second thought. Cas hummed as he did a final sweep of the room, and then he headed to the door. He paused in front of it, taking deep breaths. A new chapter of his life was beginning and he had a genuine chance at being happy, and maybe getting to keep that happiness. Cas turned the knob if the door slowly, feeling the cold metal stinging his skin. He pushed the door open and stared out into the dark parking lot. No Impala. No Dean. He should've known it was way too good to be true.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean's foot pressed the gas all the way to the floor. He kept hearing the call over and over again in his head.  
"Dean?" a familiar voice had said.  
"Ya, this is Dean."  
"It's your dad, it's John."  
Dean hadn't responded to that, for nearly thirty seconds. Finally he spoke again.  
"Dad?"  
"Ya, son, it's me."  
"What the hell? Why the fuck are you calling me now? It's been ten fucking years you son of a bitch. Ten years since you've called, more than twenty since I've seen your poor excuse for a face."  
He had heard his father sigh of the other end of the line. His sigh sounded wheezy and Dean had noticed that his breathing sounded weak.  
"I know, son. I know that I've never been there for you, but I need you, right now."  
"What the hell, Dad? I'm not just gonna come bring you booze or money, or whatever it is that you're achin' for this time."  
"No, Dean, it's not that. I don't need you for that. It's something else, and I need to see you, and your brother. Come to Chicago as soon as you can, please."  
"Don't give me 'please' you son of a bitch. Even if you're telling the truth, there's no way in hell, that I'm ever bringing Sammy to you. He might not remember all of it too well, but I do. I remember having to wipe the tears off of my three year old brother's face after our asshole of a dad came home, totally wasted, kicking the shit out of him. No way I'm bringing Sammy to you, no way in hell."  
Dean heard what sounded like sniffling as John responded.  
"Fine, fine. Don't bring your brother, but please I need you to come to Chicago."  
When Dean didn't respond, the old man kept talking.  
"Don't you remember the good things, in the early years, can't you remember your mother?"  
"Ya, I do remember Mom. I remember her getting sick, and you disappearing. I remember me, having to call Bobby to drive her to her chemo appointments because you were off doing who-knows-what. I remember having to sit with her on the couch and tell her everything was gonna be alright, while I watched her die in my arms. I remember all of that Dad, I don't have many good things to remember and everything that is good, is about Mom. Even when she was puking constantly and decaying away, she was a million times more of a parent than you'll ever be."   
Dean heard the sounds of his father crying through the phone.  
"Dean, please. Please, I'm begging you, I need you to come to Chicago, even just for a day. I have to see you, soon. I'm dying son, I'm dying."  
"You're dying?"  
"Yes, I just told you. Please, Dean. For your mother, please."  
"You asshole, using her to trip me into coming there! How dare you."  
"I know Dean, I know. Please. I'm living in apartment 23 in the Sun View building at the corner of Fifth and Leland. Please come."  
And with that, John Winchester had hung up the phone.   
Dean pulled himself back to the road, watching the dashed yellow lines fly past the impala. He knew that he had made a terrible decision. He had drove off to Chicago, trying to do what his mother would have wanted, but he had left Cas, stranded at the motel, after promising him a home and a relationship. There was no way Cas was ever going to let him back in. But John had been right, Mary would've wanted Dean to visit his dying father. The thought of seeing John again terrified Dean. He hadn't thought of anyone but Bobby as his father for twenty years. As Dean looked out at the road, he noticed the sun coming up. He had been driving for nearly three hours in silence, with no breaks. Only five hours until he reached Chicago. He would only stay for a day. If he had to see his father, it would only be for a day. 

Dean pulled into the parking lot of John's apartment building. The place was worse than the El Conquistador that Cas was staying at back in Lawrence. The run down, one story building didn't have a single intact window. The walls were stained everywhere, with spots of varying shades of brown. Dean found himself wanting to turn and run in the opposite direction, in fear of getting the clap just from breathing the air. But he got out of the car anyways, and made his way to the room that had a disheveled "23" posted on the door. As he got closer, his heart beat faster, and he tried to talk himself out of going inside. Before he knew it, he was knocking on the door, staring down at his feet.  
"Come in" growled a deep voice from the other side if the door.  
Dean turned to knob and walked into the room, slowly. At first he didn't see anyone inside, but as he looked closer, he saw a dark figure, hunched in a chair in the corner of the room.  
"Hello?"   
"Dean, you came" replied John, wheeling his wheelchair to the center of the room.  
Dean took a step back in surprise. His father had once been handsome, but not anymore. His skin and eyes were a sickly yellow and his fingers were curled unnaturally. John's eyes were sunken in, and his skin pulled tight over his cheeks. Dean could see his father's ribs through the fabric of his thin shirt. And of course there was the wheelchair that John was hunched in, hardly moving.  
"What the hell happened to you?" Dean asked, finally able to speak.  
"Exactly what Bobby said would happen when you were ten years old. I drank myself to death. My liver is basically gone and my body is flooding with toxins. I've got a few weeks left son."  
"I ain't your son. I know I let you call me that over the phone, but I'm not. I'm Bobby and Ellen's son. And so is Sammy."  
"Let's not fight, Dean. Please just this once. I want to make things right."  
"Make things right? You've got to be kidding me. Nothing you could ever do would make up for the shit you did."  
"That was so many years ago, please, I just need a chance. I've stopped drinking, no more gambling. When I die, I'm gonna die a good man."  
"A good man? The only reason you're not drinkin' and gamblin' is that you physically can't anymore. So do give me this 'good man' bullshit."  
"I'm serious, Dean. I want to make amends for what I've done."  
"There's nothing left for you to fix. Sam and I are happy. We've got a real, functional family and we're better off than we ever were with you."  
"I know, Dean, I know. I just want to spend my last few days with my boys."  
"We aren't-"  
"Ya, I know. You aren't my boys, but please, just give an old man his dying wish."  
"Fine, fine" Dean said, barely able to stop from gagging as his father's rotting face looked up at him, pleading.  
"Thank you, Dean" John replied, turning his chair towards his dresser.  
"What do we need to do before we head back to Lawrence?"  
"I've got a doctor's appointment in a few day, that I can't miss, so we can leave after that."  
"How many days is a few days?"  
"Five. Just five days, and then you can take me to Sammy."  
Dean was repulsed by the idea of John and Sam in the same room. He had promised himself, twenty years ago, that he would never let it happen again.  
Wanting to get away from his father, Dean said, "Speaking of Sam, I'm gonna give him a call."  
John didn't respond, so Dean walked out of the room, and pulled out his phone. He shut the door behind himself, and hit Sammy's number on speed dial. It rang a few times and then Sam picked up.  
"Hello"  
"Hey, Sammy, it's me. I just wanted to let you know, I'm not gonna be home for a few days."  
"Wait, what? Why?"  
"I'm in Chicago.... with Dad."  
"Dad? What the hell, Dean? Dean!"  
"Shut up, Sammy."  
"What the hell are you thinking? We promised each other and we promised Bobby and Ellen!"  
"You don't think I know that, Sammy? He called me last night and said he needed me, and that I had to come, for Mom."  
"Dean, that's just more of his bullshit. What are you thinking?"  
"C'mon Sam, I know, I know all of that. I remember all the shit he put us through, but Sammy, he's dying."  
"Dying?"  
"Ya, dying. He fucked his liver. His body's leaking toxins into itself, and he's dying."  
"Serves him right."  
"C'mon Sam, you don't mean that."  
"Yes, Dean, I do. He goes off and gets drunk off his ass, we knew it would bite him one day."  
"But you should see him Sammy, he barely looks human anymore."  
Dean heard Sam sigh through the phone, as if he were wondering whether or not he should feel bad for their father.  
"He says he wants to make amends," Dean continued, "to make up for everything."  
"It's a bit late for that."  
"I know, but he's calling it his 'dying wish'"  
"Dean, don't listen to him, just come home."  
"I can't, Sammy. I can't just leave him here. He's an ass and I hate him more than anyone or anything, but he's also our dad."  
"Bobby is our dad, Dean."  
"I know that, it's just, he's pathetic. He's hunched and crippled. He's rollin' around in a wheelchair."  
"Dean, please just give it up."  
"I can't Sam, I told him I would bring him back to Lawrence."  
"What were you thinking, promising him that?"  
"I was thinking that if he has to die, it shouldn't be alone."  
"Why the hell would you think that, Dean? He left Mom alone to die, with only a six year old and a four year old to look after her. Why should he get it any better?"  
"Because she loved him, Sam."  
Dean paused, listening to the silence on the line.  
"Did I ever tell you what her last words were, Sammy?"  
"No, no you didn't."  
"Well, the very last thing she said was: Dean, listen close. I need you to know, I love your father, I do. But most of all, out of all of this universe, I love you and little Sammy. You're my lovely, strong angels."  
Again, silence from Sam.  
"That's why, Sammy. That's why I'm bringing him home."  
"Ok, ok. Just please come back soon, and safe."  
"It's gonna be a few days, I've gotta stick around here until he has his doctors appointment, which is in a few days."  
"Ok fine, but you need to haul ass back, because you left a certain someone stranded at a motel, and now that certain someone is pissed."  
"Fuck, fuck. Cas."  
"Ya, Cas. He walked out of his room and you were gone. He called me asking where you were and I had to tell him that I had no clue. I had to go pick him up and drive him to work this morning because you took the Impala and ran."  
"Shit, I am just so wonderful at fucking things up."  
"Ya, Dean, you are. He came and picked up his car just now, without a word, and I haven't heard from him since.... I thought you were finally going to be happy, man."  
Dean didn't respond well. He punched the wall nearest to him, putting a size-able whole through the it and letting out a stream of profanities.  
"I was going to be happy, I was. Cas was gonna fix it all."  
"Dean, just get back home soon. I'm sure he'll let you talk it out."  
"Damn it. Damn it. Damn it."  
"Dean, relax. Just get Dad to his doctor's appointment and then come home, understand?"  
"Ya, ya sure. Whatever you say."  
"Dean, I'm serious. Come home."  
Dean stayed silent until Sam continued.  
"Listen, I've gotta go, Bobby's calling me right now."  
"Don't tell him about Dad."  
"Sure, sure, whatever. Bye."  
Dean hung up the phone and shoved it into his pocket. He sat down on the curb and put his head between his knees. How could he have forgotten Cas like that? He had just left, no explanation, no warning. It was all over. But he had to try.

Cas groggily woke up to the sound of his phone vibrating on the night stand, next to his bed. He squinted his eyes, trying to see, and patted around for the phone. His fingers finally found it, and he hastily answered.  
"Hello" he said, pressing it to his ear.  
"Cas," said Dean's voice from the other end, but before Dean could continue, Cas hung up.  
He had sworn himself off of Dean Winchester. He was done. He wasn't going to put up with someone who disappeared like that, without a word. He felt the pit growing in his stomach. The pit created when Dean had ripped out the hope that they had just built up. Cas had decided to hate Dean, but at the same time, he hated him so much that he figured it couldn't have been anything but some kind of love. And of course, he hated the idea of hating Dean, just as much as he hated the idea of loving him. Cas stared up at the ceiling, wishing that he had never met Dean. And then yelling at himself for wishing that, because, after all, Dean Winchester was the best thing that had ever happened to him. The exhilaration, and the rush the Cas had felt when he was with Dean was something he knew he would never be able to match. As Cas laid there, his body ached, but he wanted to run. He wanted to run as far as he could from the memories of Dean, from Lawrence, from the shabby court house, from Ellen and Jo's bar, from Bobby's shop. From all of it. He wanted all of it to be as far from him as possible. His phone started buzzing again, and when he checked it, it was Dean, again. And the next four times. He wanted to pick it up, and tell Dean that it was ok, and that they were fine and that they could be happy together, but of he did that, it would be giving in. Cas wasn't going to let Dean see him as some random clingy guy who liked to make out in dingy, bar bathrooms. Even though Cas never picked up, Dean kept calling, and calling. Cas finally got tired of hearing it buzz and shut his phone off completely. He crawled into bed, and pulled his covers over his head, trying to block out the blackness of the hotel room. But his stomach and his chest felt like an elephant was stepping on them, a blackness of his own, to fill the room.

Dean frustratedly put his phone away, tired of trying to call Cas, with no response. He had booked the motel room next to John's and because of the paper thin walls, he could hear his father's labored breathing next door. He had heard breathing like that so many times before, and the noise brought back a flood of memories.   
Dean remembered sitting on the couch with his mother's head in his lap as she slept. Her chest had moved slowly, having to work through the pain to just be able to breathe. Dean had tucked his little chubby fingers into the folds of her head wrap, wishing that he could play with her beautiful golden hair again. But the chemo had taken that away. It had taken everything away, except for the cancer. Little Sammy had crawled up onto the couch, too young to understand what was happening to his mother. He had wanted to snuggle up, but woke her instead, pressing against her fragile chest. Dean had pulled Sammy off, away from their mother, who lay sobbing on the couch.   
That had been her second to last day. Dean had woken up, and found her lying in the floor at the base of the couch, unmoving, but looking around frantically. He had run to the phone, desperately called an ambulance, and then returned to her side to wait. Her last moments of consciousness were spent holding Dean close and whispering her last words in his ear.   
Of course, John wasn't there when she died. He didn't show up until three days after, when Sam and Dean were watching the cemetery groundskeeper lower her coffin into the dirt. He had grabbed both of his sons by the collar and dragged them home, starting his reign of terror.   
Dean swung his legs over the side if his bed, sitting up quickly. He got up, threw on his clothes, collected his things and marched over to his father's room. It was nearly four in the morning, but he pounded on the door. When John didn't answer, he let himself in.  
"Rise and shine pops, we're hitting the road" he yelled, flicking on the lights.  
John sat up slowly in bed and stared, in awe of his son's behavior.  
"Dean, what the hell are you talking about? We're not leaving for four more days?"  
"Nope, we're leaving now. I'm taking you to Lawrence."  
Dean pulled John's wheelchair to the side of the bed and helped him into it. He threw all of John's belongings hastily into a suitcase, and wheeled both out to the parking lot.  
"What the hell, son?"  
"I told you, we're going back to Lawrence."  
"My doctor's-"  
"You can visit some doc once we're home."  
"Why are you doing this?"  
"Because you need to see her grave!" Dean screamed, unable to hold it back any longer.  
"You, son of a bitch, you need to go stand over your wife's grave and you are going to have to face what you did. She was already dying, but you, you ripped the life outta her."  
John was speechless. Dean towered over him, glaring down.   
"You abandoned us all and never thought twice about those consequences. And you know what? I just did the same thing. I left without a word to anyone, so that I could come out here and get your sickly ass, and I probably just destroyed the best chance at happiness I've had in a very long time. I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree."  
John didn't attempt to argue back, or even respond. He just sat calmly as Dean rolled him to the side of the car and helped him into the passenger's seat.   
"Eight hours, and we'll be back in Lawrence" Dean said, turning on the radio and stepping on the gas.


	4. Chapter 4

Cas jolted up in his bed at the sound of pounding at the door. He glanced over at his clock. 9:00 AM. He had overslept, and was late for work but didn't care. He would call his boss later. He sighed and slid off the bed, shoving his feet into his slippers and shuffling towards the door. The knocking continued as he walked, and as he got closer, he heard a voice calling his name.   
"Cas! Cas, open up! I need to talk to you!"  
Cas peered through the eye hole and saw Dean, with a pained look on his face. Without opening the door, Cas yelled back at Dean.   
"Get the hell away from me, Dean Winchester."  
"Cas, please. C'mon man, just let me explain myself."  
Cas opened the door, but just enough for him to squeeze his head through.  
"Please, Dean, just go away. I can't get hurt or risk hurting anyone, every again."  
"Cas, just give me five minutes" Dean said looking at his feet.  
"Dean--" Cas began, but Dean pushed himself past, into the hotel room.  
Cas closed the door and turned to face him. Dean had bags under his eyes and his hands were stiff. The usual brightness in his eyes was gone.  
"I'm sorry, Cas. Okay? I'm so so sorry."  
"Fine, I get it, but I still don't want to see you right now."  
"Well that's just too damn bad, because I need to see you."  
Dean moved forward, as if he was going to try and kiss Cas, but Cas dodged him and moved to the other side of the room.  
"You're here to talk, that's all" he told Dean, even though he would have gladly kissed him.  
"Ya, sorry. I'll explain. While you were packing up your stuff, I got a phone call. From my dad."  
"Your dad?"  
"Ya."  
"As in the 'dad' who abandoned you and Sam as kids?"  
"That's the one, he---"  
"So you left me here, thinking that you couldn't give a shit about me to go and see your asshole of a father?"  
"It's not like that Cas."  
"That's exactly what it sounds like to me."  
"No, no, he's dying. I had to go get him from Chicago and bring him home so he could see Sammy before he died."  
"Oh, so you left me and Sam here with no idea where you were to go and help out a dying man that you hardly know?"  
"Cas, stop it, please." Dean said, shaking.  
"Why? Is it hurting your feelings Dean Winchester?"  
"Cas--"  
"Poor Dean Winchester, who leaves behind guys who he just promised a future to and runs off to save dying assholes."  
Dean sat down on the end of Cas' bed and put his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes.   
"Sorry" Cas said, realizing he was, in fact, hurting Dean.  
"No, no. You're right. I did leave you hanging here with no clue where I ran off to. But I did have to help my dad. His liver failed, and it's too late for him to get better. He's in a wheelchair, and he can't even feed himself anymore. His body can't balance out all of the toxic shit he's taken in over the years. So he's dying."  
"Look, I'm sorry that he's dying, but why the hell did you go to him? He abandoned you, and Sam, doesn't that put him pretty low on the list of people you want to see?"  
"He started talking about my mom, Cas. He said that she would want me to go, and of course, because he brought her up, I listened."  
"Dean--"  
"I got back yesterday and the first thing I did was wheel him out to the cemetery and park him in front of her grave and make him stare at it."  
"Why?"  
"So he would have to face what he did to her. He left her to die, but the blame always fell on me and Sammy. I wanted him to know that it's his fault she's dead."  
Dean's actions seemed rational, but Cas was still pissed. Dean had still left him. So he shook his head, and decide that it was time to get Dean Winchester out of his life once and for all.   
"Fine, Dean, fine. I'm glad that you made your dying father go sit in front of your dead mother's grave, and that that makes you feel so much better, but now please, get out."  
"Are you kidding me?" Dean yelled, standing up.  
"No, no I'm not."  
"This is just fucking hilarious. I can't believe you're the one lecturing me about being heartless. I mean I'm not the one who decided to pretend I was straight just to go and cheat on my wife."  
"Dean, I never said that you were heartless. And you didn't have to bring that up. I was weak, and I was lonely. I betrayed my wife, and I took advantage of someone else who was just as lonely as me. I know that I messed up, I know that what I did was terrible, but you're the one who asked me if it was worth it, and told me to forgive myself."  
"Sorry, I just--"  
"You're just really fucking stupid Dean Winchester."  
"Stupid?"  
"Yes, none of this should have ever happened. You could have waited two minutes before driving off, to tell me where you were going, you could've called. I was terrified. I thought that something terrible had happened to you."  
"That's what you're pissed about? That I didn't call?"  
"Yes! I had no idea where you were. And then, for the last two days, I was wondering if you had decided that you didn't want me or if you had just used me. I didn't know what to think, Dean."  
"Cas, I just--"  
"No, shut up. I never know what to think around you. You confuse me and my stomach always hurts around you, and you're distracting. You were only gone for two days and I felt like my world was ending. And you couldn't even bother to call me, or even just text me, and let me know the you were okay."  
"Cas, that's not how it is, not at all. My family, they fuck up my head, and I can never think straight. That's why I didn't call right away. But you were the one who wouldn't pick up when I did start calling!"  
"When you called me at four in the fucking morning? What the fuck did you expect, Dean? The guy that I was falling in love with just abandons me and then tries to call me in the middle of the night. I thought that you were probably off somewhere with someone else, drunk off your ass, calling me just to taunt me."  
"No, Cas, no. Never. I would never."  
"Well how the hell was I supposed to know that? I've known you for less than a week. But still, I can't get you out of my fucking head."  
"Cas, you've got the same damn hold over me, I could walk on water if you asked me to. And I would. Cas, for you, I would go to the moon and back, so don't you fucking dare tell me what it is that I'm feeling."  
The two had found themselves standing centimeters apart, and as Dean finished talking, Cas immediately wrapped his arms around him, and kissed him. Dean pulled Cas in, and within moments, they were breathing each other in completely. Their teeth and tongues clashed against each other. Cas' fingers were wound into Dean's hair, tugging on it slightly. Dean pulled Cas' shirt into a ball in his hand. Cas' mouth kept curling into a smile at the taste of Dean's mouth on his. Dean smelled like soap and salt, but tasted sweet. Cas pulled away from Dean, just long enough to drag him towards the bed and push him onto it. Dean chuckled as Cas' awkwardly climbed on top of his lap, while pulling his pajama shirt over his head. Cas felt Dean's cold hands on his warm, bare chest and breathed in deeply. As Dean laid kisses across his clavicle, Cas pushed Dean's jacket off of his shoulders, slowly. He felt the tightness of Dean's skin over his muscles and marveled at the tenderness with which he moved. Cas moaned as Dean kissed his neck, and he felt himself getting hard. He breathed in, focusing in on Dean's hand's, which were currently, squeezing his ass. Cas slid his own hands up under Dean's shirt and started pulling it over Dean's head. Soon, their bare chests were touching, and the body heat that they were exchanging was scorching. Cas was only wearing his boxers, and Dean's jeans were rough against his legs.  
"Dean, take off your pants" he said, quickly sliding off of Dean's lap.  
Once he was off, Dean pulled off his jeans quickly, and Cas could see his dick bulging under his boxers. Dean pulled Cas against him, so that the only thing left separating them was their underwear. Dean dragged his hand over Cas' bulging dick, and laughed when Cas jolted. But Cas quickly recovered and started rubbing Dean's dick through his boxers.   
"Cas, what happened to taking this slow?" Dean whispered between kisses.  
"Fuck it" Cas replied, grinning.  
"From now on, you can only fuck me, got it?"  
Cas grinned, and slid his hand into Dean's boxers. Dean's dick was warm in his hand. It had been an extremely long time since Cas had last been this physical with anyone, but he was glad that this time, it was Dean. He slid his hand along the shaft of Dean's dick, while still kissing him passionately. Dean was returning the favor by doing the same, and together, they rolled back and forth on Cas' bed. Cas felt Dean start to writhe below him, about to climax. Cas slid his hand along Dean's dick faster, and Dean moaned loudly against his mouth. Cas was moaning too, both of them on the verge of an amazing orgasm. As they came together, Cas pressed himself against Dean, as hard as he could. Dean's chest rose and fell steadily, in rhythm with Cas'. Cas loosened his grip on Dean, and kissed him gently, this time.  
Cas turned onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. His legs and arms were still interwoven with Dean, who was mumbling something quietly.  
"Dean?" Cas asked, running his hand across Dean's chest.  
Dean rolled over and looked straight into Cas' eyes.  
"I love you, Castiel." he said quietly, pressing his forehead against Cas'.  
"Dean, I love you. More than anything." Cas replied, pressing his lips against Dean's. 

Dean woke up, arms wrapped around Cas, to the sound of a phone ringing. He pulled his right arm out from under Cas and reached over him to where his phone was sitting on the night stand. Sam's name shone across the screen, so Dean crawled out of bed, pulling the covers over Cas, and answered the phone.   
"Hiya, Sammy, what's up?"  
"It's Dad. I just had to rush him to the hospital."  
"Shit, I'll get dressed and head over there now, but what the hell happened?"  
"I don't know. His stomach, you know how it's all swollen? Well, it started getting bigger and he started throwing up. He's pissing himself, but they're running tests right now to find out what's happening."  
"Damn it, damn it. Listen, I'm gonna hang up, but I'll be there in a few minutes."  
"Ok, call me when you get here."  
Dean hung up, while buttoning his jeans. He shook Cas awake, not wanting to run off on him again. Cas' eyes open groggily and he stared up at Dean.  
"Dean? What's going on?"  
"I need you to get dressed, we're going to the hospital, it's my dad."  
Cas got up without a word, and got dressed as fast as he could. They rushed out to the parking lot. Before Dean could get to the driver's side, Cas grabbed his arm and pulled the keys out of his hand.  
"There's no way I'm letting you drive like this, Dean."  
Dean didn't protest, and walked around the car to slide into the passenger's seat. Cas turned the keys in the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot.  
"What if he dies, Cas?" Dean asked, shaking, and terrified that John really would die.  
"He's not going to die, Dean. Not tonight."  
Dean wished that Cas' words made him feel better, but they really didn't. He had just gotten to see his father for the first time in years. It really didn't matter what he used to be like, because Dean could tell that he had changed. And now, he was about to die.   
Cas drove as fast as he could. He pulled the car up to the curb, dropping Dean off so that he could park, and promising to join him as soon as possible. Dean leaped out of the car, and called Sam.  
"Sammy, I'm here" he said, running through the front doors.  
"Second floor, room 220, hurry up so I can catch you up on what's going on."  
Dean ran to the elevator, and pressed the button. After a few seconds, the elevator still hadn't arrived, so Dean bolted for the stairs. He took them two at a time, head pounding and legs burning. If John was about to die, he had to be there. He swung himself up the stairwell, trying to reach his family as fast as he could, but it felt like it was taking an eternity. He finally reached the second floor and frantically searched for room 220. He found it with the door open, and saw Sam sitting into a chair next to John's bed. Dean took a deep breath, seeing John's eyes open and looking around the room. His chest was barely moving and he was plugged into every kind of machine that Dean had ever seen in a hospital, plus a few more.   
"Hey, Dad," he said quietly, moving to the side of the bed.  
John took his hand and looked up, solemnly.   
"Dean," said Sam, "follow me."  
Sam led Dean into the hallway and then spoke again.  
"His kidneys," Sam said, "they both failed. The only way he can live is hooked up to these machines. And the doctors say he's only got a couple days left, and that's if we're lucky."  
Dean felt as of his stomach was spiraling down. He had only just gotten to see his father again, and now he only had a few days left with him. Dean leaned against a wall, and slowly sunk down it, until he was sitting on the floor. Sam put his hand on Dean's shoulder and then walked back to the room. Dean heard the sound of a chair sliding and Sammy's whispers to their father, telling him it was all going to be ok. Dean stared into space, not knowing what he was going to do after John died. His whole life he had been able to live knowing that his father, no matter how much of an asshole he was, was out there somewhere, if Dean ever truly needed him. But if John died, that feeling would be gone. Dean hung his head, but he felt a warm arm wrap around his shoulders. He felt lips press against the back of his head and then lifted his head, to see Cas sitting next to him, staring at him with worry in his eyes.  
"I'll be right here, Dean. Always" he said, laying another kiss on the back of his head.


	5. Chapter 5

The brisk air blew over Cas' hands and he felt the cold tears rolling onto his cheek. He wasn't crying for John, (from what he had heard, he would've hated the man) but he was crying for Dean. The small group stood around the freshly covered up grave, with their heads bowed. Bobby and Ellen stood together, with Jo just to their right. Sam stood staunchly behind Dean, who was wrapped tightly in Cas' arms. It was an odd scene, the broken little family, standing around the grave of someone they had despised. Cas was worried for Dean. He was an emotional wreck. He had been drinking nearly nonstop, and getting angry at the slightest provocation. Cas had moved into Dean's house earlier than planned, at the request of Sam, who was just as worried. Cas' presence had helped, but only slightly. He had had to pull Dean out of bed in order to drag him to the funeral, and now that they were there, Dean wouldn't budge. Bobby led Ellen and Jo towards his truck and they headed back to the bar. Sam, Dean and Cas were left standing on the damp grass. Breaking the silence, Sam said, "Dean, lets go home."  
Dean shook his head, so Sam moved forward to put his hand on his brother's shoulder. At the touch, Dean lurched forward, breaking Cas' grip and shaking Sam off.  
"Go to hell, Sammy."  
Cas walked towards him, arms outstretched, but Dean tore off, running through the cemetery. Sam was about to take off after him, but Cas said "Let's give him a minute Sam, we can catch him in the car."  
Sam nodded at they walked towards the Impala. They could still see Dean on the smooth horizon. Sam maneuvered himself into the driver's seat and Cas took the seat next to him. They drove along the side road that circled around the cemetery until the found Dean. He was kneeling on the grass, with his hands on the ground in front of him. Cas watched the muscles in his back rippled as he caught his breath. Sam slowly got out of the car and walked across the grass to his big brother. Cas stayed in his seat, watching Sam pull Dean to his feet. Dean's chest was lurching with each breath as he bawled. He hadn't cried like that before. As the brothers got closer to the Impala, Cas got out and walked to meet them. He put his hand in Dean's and squeezed it lightly.  
"Let's get him into the back seat" Sam said to Cas, as if Deam wasn't right in front of them.  
As Cas helped Sam, Dean started to calm down. He breathing slowed and tears stopped streaming out of his eyes. Dean fell exhaustedly into the backseat, and Cas closed the door behind him. Once they were all loaded into the Impala, Sam stepped on the gas. Even though they were on the way to the bar, Cas saw Dean reach into his jacket and pull out a flask, just to chug the entire thing. Dean's eyelids rolled shut and his shoulder's slumped.  
"He's out cold" Cas told Sam, hoping to start a conversation that would lead to the two of them figuring out a way to help Dean.  
"That's not such a big difference from the usual, lately"  
"I know, but he's getting worse?"  
"He is?"  
"Yes, he won't even acknowledge me sometimes. All he does is stare at his feet and drink. I think he might be going out and picking fights, there are some bruises on his lower back."  
"Woah, Cas, why didn't you tell me?"  
"I couldn't get away from him long enough to talk to you alone."  
"We need to start locking the liquor cabinet at your house and we need to take away his keys to the bar. Make him quit, cold turkey."  
"At this point, I'm fine with anything that will help him."  
"Ha, he thinks the drinking will help, because that's the only way our dad could ever think of to fix things."  
"Why is he so broken up about a man he hated?"  
"We didn't hate him, well, Dean didn't. I think Dean is mourning the person that Dad was before the beatings, before Mom died."  
"Oh."  
Sam didn't reply, but turned into the parking lot of the bar. Together, the two conscious occupants of the car got out and pulled Dean out of the back seat. As Sam propped Dean upright, Cas shook him, waking him up.  
"Where are we?" Dean murmured, groggily, eyes half open.  
"We're at the bar" Sam said, "pull yourself together. We're gonna be here a while, then I'll give you and Cas a ride home."  
Dean drunkenly stammered "Me and Cas" with a small grin before stumbling forward, towards the front doors. As Cas opened the door for the Winchesters, Sam shot him a concerned look, and Cas knew Dean was about to hit rock bottom.  
The other three were already waiting for them, sitting at the empty bar. Ellen's had was cradled in Bobby's and they all held drinks in their hands. Music was playing quietly from the back, lyrics inaudible over the rumble of the air conditioning. Cas and Sam took the seats on either side of Jo, and Cas patted the seat next to him for Dean to sit down. Dean shook his head drunkenly and mumbled something under his breath.  
"What did you say, son?" Bobby asked worriedly.  
Dean spun quickly and glared towards Bobby.  
"First of all, I didn't say anything. Secondly, you're not my dad. I just buried my dad, six feet under."  
"Like hell I'm not your dad, Dean" Bobby said, getting out of his seat.  
"Robert--" Ellen started, but her husband kept talking.  
"What did that man ever do for you that qualifies him to be your father?"  
"He raised me!"  
"You call drinkin' and never bein' there for your kids raising them? All that man ever did was slink into the dark and then come crawling back to you and your brother bringing all of that shit with him!"  
"He just died, who care what he did when he was alive! Can't I just mourn him?"  
"No, 'cause you're not mourning the real John Winchester. You're mourning the man that your mother loved. That man wasn't really John. John was a drunk and a loser, which are traits that he obviously passed onto you."  
Dean stammered forward, towards Bobby, trying to push words out of his mouth.  
"Any decent father would never let his kid anywhere near the kinda crap that John exposed you and little Sam to."  
Dean flailed his arm towards Bobby, trying to punch him, but with no avail. Cas' heart was sinking in his chest. His beautiful Dean was falling apart. Bobby kept yelling.  
"John Winchester was an asshole and a coward! He let you suffer through Mary's death all by yourself while raising your little brother. I remember, I remember all if it, 'cause I was there, taking care of her when you were too tired. You used to call me in the middle of the night asking me to help you with her. You never once called John, because back then, you knew what a piece of shit he was, he was a lousy excuse for a father. But you seem to have forgotten that."  
"He was a better father than you ever were!" Dean screamed, crying profusely.  
"How dare you?" Bobby yelled right back, lunging forward and punching Dean in the nose.  
Cas sat in awe, watching Bobby catch Dean's unconscious body and it went limp. Bobby sank to the floor of the bar, keeping Dean from hitting the floor.  
"I'm sorry, son, I'm sorry." He muttered into Dean's ear, but Dean was knocked out, cold. Bobby was crying a little, with a few tears running down his cheek. Ellen got out of her seat and walked over to her husband and son, while Cas and Sam did the same.  
"We'll take him home" Sam said, pulling Dean's right arm over his shoulder. Cas took the other arm and they carried Dean out of the bar. Once Dean was in the Impala, Cas and Sam said goodbye to the others. Cas watched Ellen wrap her arms around Bobby, and heard her say, "It's gonna be alright, hon, Dean is too drunk, he won't remember any of that."  
Bobby replied, "But I will" and the words hit Cas like a brick. Dean would never have any clue about what had happened in the bar, but the rest of them would always live with the weight of that fight.  
Sam and Cas rode in silence for a long time, until they were a block away from Dean's place.  
"Cas?"  
"Ya, Sam."  
"I need- I- I need you to help him. Don't let him out of your sights. No more drinking, ever, as far as I'm concerned."  
"Ok."  
"I'm serious Cas. You're the only one he's gonna listen to. You have to do this."  
"Sam, I don't--"  
"Don't you dare tell me that you're going to leave him"  
"No, never--"  
"Then it's settled, he needs you."  
"Sam, I just--"  
"Cas," Sam said as pulled up in front of the house. "You're the only one who can help my brother. I'm begging you, help me save him. You can do it, he loves you. He might not have said it yet, maybe he never will, but Cas he really does. I can see it in his face. Without you, he won't make it thorough this, he'll end up just like our dad."  
"I'm not going to leave him, Sam, not ever, I promise."

Dean had woken up when Sam and Cas lifted him out of the backseat of the car. Cas pulled Dean's arm around his shoulder, and helped him walk up the front steps. Cas waved to Sam as he walked of, to his house that was just around the corner. He would not forget the promise that he had made to the younger Winchester brother. As he reached the door, he fumbled through Dean's pockets, searching for the keys. He finally found them in the front pocket of his jeans, and unlocked the house. He had only been staying there a few days, but he knew his way around pretty well. First, Cas dragged Dean into their bedroom and laid him down on top of the comforter.  
"I'll be right back" he whispered as he headed towards the kitchen. He grabbed a glass of water for Dean, and set it on the counter. Cas then moved to the liquor cabinet and grabbed every bottle he could take in one trip. He walked to the sink, and poured every bottle down the drain. He made three trips between the cabinet and the sink before taking the glass of water back to Dean, who was lying on the bead, barely conscious. Cas sat him up and poured some water into his mouth. Dean drank thirstily, quickly emptying the whole cup.  
"Lay down with me" he said to Cas, making room on the bed next to him. Cas did as he was told and cuddled up next to Dean. Dean rolled over, onto Cas and tried to kiss him, but Cas put his hand over his lips.  
"You're drunk, you need sleep."  
"Oh come on," Dean said, stroking Cas' inner thighs and kissing his neck.  
"No." Cas said, pushing Dean off of him, angrily. He wanted to be with Dean more than anything, but their first real time together wasn't going to happen with Dean plastered.  
Dean groaned, disappointedly and stared up at the ceiling. Cas watched him intently, trying to figure out what kind of muddled thoughts were running through his beautiful head. Dean suddenly turned towards him, and said, "Let's go to the city for the weekend, and leave all of this crap behind."  
"What?" Cas asked, unsure that he'd heard Dean correctly.  
"You and me, one weekend, away from Lawrence, away from all of this. Is it a plan?"  
"Sure, Dean" Cas said, knowing that Dean would be too hungover in the morning to remember any of it.  
"Good," Dean replied, "Night, Cas."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so ridiculously long since the last update, lots of stuff going on. Hopefully there'll be even more soon

Cas' eyelids kept rolling shut as he sat at his desk, trying to leaf through the mounds of paperwork. The lines of print were blurring together, into indistinguishable smudges. He glanced up at the clock, and was relieved to see that he only had twenty minutes until he was free for the weekend. He had spent all day in court, but his only concern had been Dean. When Cas left their house that morning, Dean was still passed out in bed. Cas was worried about what had happened when Dean woke up to find all of his alcohol gone. But Dean hadn't called, so Cas hoped that it meant he had reacted well. But with someone as unreadable as Dean, it was hard to tell. Cas took a swig of his coffee and tried to turn his attention back towards his work. Just as he finally refocused himself, he heard a strange noise, coming from the parking lot just outside of his second story window. At first he only could make out the sound of a thumping bass, but eventually, the rest of the sound became clearer. "The Eye of the Tiger" was blasting. Cas opened his window and looked out to see Dean standing on top of the Impala, beckoning Cas out of the building. Cas yelled out in protest, causing Dean to come running to the base of the building.  
"What are you doing here, Dean?" He yelled.  
"I'm picking you up from work early for our romantic weekend away."  
Cas' jaw dropped. Dean had just yelled that in the center of town, loud enough for everyone to hear.  
"Dean, I'm working, I---"  
"Oh shut up and get down here."  
Cas closed the window and smiled to himself. He threw his papers into his briefcase and locked up his office. As he ran down the hallway, his co-worker, Balthazar, stuck his head out and asked:  
"Is Dean Winchester really down in the parking lot waiting to take you away for a hot, steamy weekend of gay sex?"  
Without thinking, Cas said "Definitely" as the elevator doors closed, and at the last moment, he heard Balthazar laugh yell after him, "I always knew Winchester swung both ways!"  
Cas ran out of the court room, straight to the Impala. Dean was already waiting inside, so he pulled open the passenger side door and threw himself in. Immediately, he grabbed Dean and kissed him, hard. He was already beaming. Dean's soft lips pressed roughly against his, and Cas started to reach for his belt buckle. Dean grabbed his hand and chuckled.  
"Slow down, partner, let's save it for the sweet room I booked us," Dean said as he pulled out of the parking lot.   
Again, Cas' jaw dropped. Dean was absolutely astounding.  
"You got us a room?"  
"Of course I did, what would a weekend getaway be without some hot hotel room action?"  
Cas laughed, and then realized what Dean was saying.  
"Wait, we're really going to do this?"  
"Why the hell not? I mean, we've been sleeping in the same bed for what, a week and a half now? I know that you wanted to take it slow, but I think it's finally time that we get naked. If we don't, I think it'll kill us both."  
"You have a point" Cas replied, grinning and relaxing into the comfortable seat of the Impala.  
Dean was jumpy and anxious when they pulled up in front of the hotel, he kept glancing at Cas, trying to see his reaction. The hotel was a huge, white building with huge Greek-style columns in front. When Dean had said it was a "sweet" room, he really meant it. They walked into the lobby and Cas noticed how severely underdressed they were. Men and women in business attire filled the lobby, gripping their briefcases firmly. Cas looked down at his own coffee stained, five dollar, white button up shirt. He looked back up to see Dean tracking muddy footprints and rolling a threadbare suitcase across the marble floors. Cas quickly followed and met Dean at the front counter. He hit the bell and as they were waiting, Dean said, "We'll, what do ya think?"  
"Well besides the fact that we look like tramps compared to these people and that you just left a trail of footprints behind you, I love it."  
"Shit," Dean said, clanging his feet together to get rid of the excess dirt.  
Cas grimaced as he heard the old man behind the counter clear his throat.  
"How can I help you gentlemen?"  
Dean turned swiftly and straightened his posture.   
"I have a reservation. Winchester for the executive suite."  
"Ah, yes," the clerk said scrolling down the computer screen, "here you are."  
He handed Dean the key and gave them instructions on how to get to all of the hotel's facilities. An attractive young bell-boy grabbed their suitcase and led them to the elevator. As they walked towards the heavy metal doors, Dean slipped his hand into Cas'. Dean pulled him into the elevator and then grabbed their suitcase from the bell-boy, saying "Thanks, but I can take it from here."  
Cas laughed as Dean leapt back into the elevator, suitcase in hand, and hit the button for the top floor.   
"What are you lookin' at?" Dean asked, wrapping his arms against Cas and pulling them together.  
"Well, I was just watching the hottest man alive walk through the fanciest hotel I've ever been in" Cas replied, his lips grazing Dean's.   
"I thought that bell-boy was pretty hot too, glad you agree."   
Cas leaned away from Dean, grinning and shaking his head.  
"You wanna know a secret?" Dean asked, again pulling Cas towards him.  
"I don't know. Depends on the secret."  
"You'll wanna know this one."  
"Fine, fine, then tell me."  
"You see that suitcase?" Dean said gesturing behind him. "It has two pairs of clothes for each of us, the rest of the suitcase is packed with condoms."  
Cas stepped back and stared at Dean.  
"The entire suitcase?" he asked excitedly.   
"Yep, the entire thing."  
"Well we better get started then, or we're never gonna get to use them all."  
"Shit, Cas, all of them?"  
"Why not? We have a whole weekend"  
Dean pulled Cas hard against himself and pushed their lips together. Cas felt the same rush and heat he had the first time he had kissed Dean. Dean pushed Cas against the elevator doors, running his hands down Cas' back. Suddenly the elevator dinged and the doors flew open, sending Cas and Dean toppling out of the elevator. They lay in a heap on the floor, laughing as they tried to untangle all of their limbs and stand back up. Dean rushed back into the elevator to grab the suitcase.  
"Cas, our room is the only on up here" he yelled dragging the case behind him.   
Cas pulled open the only door in the hall, and stood, jaw dropped, gazing inside.  
"How much did this cost?" he asked Dean, as Dean pushed him into the room.   
The entire floor, with the exception if the hall they had just come from had been devoted to creating one, magnificent hotel room. There was a bathroom and an amazing kitchen, but the best part of the room was a massive, king sized bed, with a huge headboard and the biggest pillows Cas had ever seen.   
"Those pillows are just gonna get in the way," Dean said, walking up behind Cas and wrapping his arms around Cas' waist. Cas felt Dean's warm hands press into his hips, tightly. Cas turned around into Dean's lips, kissing him slowly. Without unlocking their lips, Cas pulled Dean harder into him, and towards the bed. Cas sat on the bed, wrapping his legs loosely around Dean, who was still standing. Dean pulled his lips away from Cas' kissing his cheek, and then his neck. Cas gave a little moan and started to unbutton Dean's shirt. His fingers fumbled down the buttons, undoing all of them and then sliding his hands onto Dean's bare skin. The contact felt electric. Cas felt the muscles in Dean's back moving as he returned his lips to Cas'. Cas took his hands off of Dean's back and started undoing his own shirt. Dean lifted Cas to lay on the bed, and them slid on top of him, pressing their bare chests together. Dean wrapped his arms under Cas' sliding his hands under Cas' boxers and onto his ass, squeezing it. Cas kept one hand intertwined in Dean's hair, and used the other to knock the pillows off of the bed.   
"Let's get the rest of our clothes off," Dean said against Cas' mouth. Cas nodded and Dean rolled off of him. They quickly pulled off everything and then climbed into the bed, sliding their bodies onto each other. 

"I want you to fuck me" Cas said, quite abruptly. Dean chuckled absentmindedly in response while he laid kisses down Cas' chest and stomach, sliding his tongue around Cas' nipples. Dean grabbed Cas' cock at its base and slid up and down it. Cas gave little moans with every motion. Dean teasingly licked the head while looking up at Cas, who's head was thrown back in ecstasy. Dean slowly slid his mouth around Cas' dick, and Cas thrusted up into his mouth. Dean felt Cas' cock swelling inside of his mouth, and pulled away. Cas looked up at him in confusion.   
"You're gonna fuck me" Dean said, climbing onto the bed and straddling Cas. He quickly grabbed some lube and rubbed in onto Cas' dick and into his ass. Leaning over Cas, Dean slid himself down onto Cas, taking his whole dick all at once. They simultaneously let out moans of pleasure as Dean began to slide up and down, forcing Cas' dick as far in as he could. Cas grabbed onto Dean's hips, thrusting into him, faster and faster, eliciting moans from Dean. The pressure from Cas' fingers made Dean want to be fucked even harder. "Oh fuck" he yelled, as Cas flipped him onto his back, without pulling out. Cas was pounding into him harder than ever, and his dick was hitting all the right spots. "Right there, right-" Dean moaned, but was unable to finish. He grabbed his own dick and rubbed it while Cas continued to hit that perfect spot. "Cum for me" Cas said softly, leaning over Dean, for a quick, sloppy kiss. Dean moaned at the change in pressure and begged Cas for more. Cas grunted and came inside of Dean, and seconds later, Dean covered their chests with warm cum. Cas rolled off of Dean, landing roughly beside him in the bed. Dean lay there speechless, listening to Cas' panting.   
"Well that was good" Cas said, "we should do that again sometime."  
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Dean asked loudly, "That was fucking amazing."  
He saw a grin spread across Cas' face and laughed gently.  
"Let's not go out at all this weekend" he continued. "Let's stay here and see how many times we can repeat that."


End file.
